Are You Still Dreaming?
I know, a line like that is usually followed by someone trying to sell you motivational CDs or a book about the Newest Way of Thinking. But stick with me for a minute.
About two weeks ago, I received some devastating news; news that my wife and I have united together to fight against. It’s going to be an intense and busy three months or perhaps longer. For reasons I’ll keep to myself, I’m going to avoid sharing this particular news. The point is the struggle, and something you’ve probably encountered in multiple places throughout your life.
The temptation for me is to resign myself to a lesser existence over the duration of any given struggle. This means tossing aside goals or other important but optional desires. It’s sad but true to admit to you that, during my younger years, I found comfort in giving up on the things that I enjoyed whenever challenges of a personal nature arrived. This time, as we face this horrible situation, I will fight the problem in front of me with everything that I have, while being diligent in my relationships with Jesus, my wife, my friends and my passions. God help me.
There is a pervasive cynicism, of which I also succumb to on occasion, that says that we should only critique, belittle and gossip about; that our only moments of personal esteem should be the hollow elevation of ourselves when compared to others. That’s awful. Isn’t it true that admitting we have dreams, sharing them with those we trust, and nurturing our dreams one step at a time- all of these things are evidence of a healthy sense of self worth? Today seems dominated by two extremes- either puffing one’s self up to be a dynamic douchebag, or being the resigned and hopeless slouch who can only muster enough energy to question or burden someone else’s hopes and choices.
I invite you to push yourself and do a thing that is probably uncomfortable. Write your dreams in a comment below and post it. If you want to do it anonymously that’s fine, although I think it’s better that we attach our identity to our dreams. It is good to remember and to declare the things we hope for. I will share mine as well; dreams that I posted on a friend’s blog awhile ago and things that will probably be a surprise even to some of my closest friends. That points to the problem. Relationships, especially between men, spend very little time discussing and encouraging dreams, or providing constructive feedback so that we can modify our strategy. And certainly, there’s a difficult balance to accomplish between doing too much and insisting that our dreams become a reality (no matter who is hurt in the process), or on the other end focusing on life’s hardships and forgetting about passions and our God-given ability to act for them.
As for my dreams: I want to learn another language with my wife so we can someday (when our kids are fully grown adults), move away from the US for good to a place that speaks the language. To spend those years of my life in a different, simpler environment, away from this culture’s noise and away from a city. To SLOW DOWN for good. To be made uncomfortable by a different place with new opinions, challenges and priorities. To immerse myself along with my wife and hopefully my kids and their families in a smaller, more personal culture, and get closer to people in this place. In the meantime, I dream of being the custodial parent for my daughter, maybe writing a book, dream of writing more anything, dream of doing public speaking, dream of having a Charlie Rose style show on PBS- with conversation about faith and culture. I dream of getting my hands dirty for some organization doing good in different parts of the world. I dream when I listen to ambient music like the band Kyte, or when I sit and look south across Elliot Bay and the Puget Sound from the edge of Magnolia; these are some of the only things that cut through the noise in my mind. I don’t know exactly what it will be, but I dream of finding a creative outlet that makes me excited to practice it, and I’m sad to say I’ve lost that for the time being.
This blog is a dream of mine, which will sound rightly silly at first. But I think dreams can be big and small, ranging from practical goals to ambitious hopes. I have hoped for a time to make this blog a place with several different voices besides mine, and to get a consultant to help me market to a larger audience. I am thrilled that, after taking many steps towards both things, we now have a third writer here, and I’ve found a consultant who I trust. Sometimes, we let our embarrassment or fear of being perceived as egotistical cover over our achievements big and small. Which means we end up sharing life’s little victories with practically no one. In doing this, we deny ourselves the opportunity to pause and enjoy milestones. Today I’m enjoying this one, and am happy to welcome Tiffany as our third resident writer here at The Broken Telegraph. I look forward to reading her articles and hope that you will too. She is funny, refreshingly honest and full of insight.
So what are your dreams?
Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 7:22 am
I dream of having the energy to dream. My life is so bound in by my fatigue these days, I can’t imagine dreaming about anything except getting some rest and just getting through the day. How depressing.
Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 7:15 pm
After spending a 4th of July afternoon sitting around with my father in law (with a tissue shoved in each nostril as I am sicker than a dog) listening to how the world will end and that the decision to invest in gold coins, soup, and guns is a decision best made quickly…my dreams seem a bit far away. It is refreshing to read that you are dreaming. That you are thinking about those things you want to do some day. I am trying to realize that this is just someone’s opinion and if the world is going to end there is nothing little old me can do to stop it…no matter how many cans of Progresso I buy. My Father in Law means well – and these beliefs are just a product of his dreams. He put himself through school so he can understand all the economic reports and stats. This makes him smile; although me, not so much.
So instead of focusing on trading bullets for bread I am going to focus on my dreams. I want to learn new things (I am signing up for American Sign Language in the fall), I want to start a project and finish it (my cousin Heidi has taught me to knit roughly 3 times and I am about to ask her again…because I always give up), I want to do some good in this life – something that makes me being here worth while, I used to volunteer all the time and now I just claim “no time”. I have time – and I will start using it.
I know my dreams will change and evolve, but this is what helps me fall asleep these days. Thanks for getting me thinking.
Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Eebs,
My dream is relatively simple & complex all at once….
Revelation 21:3,4….
With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples. And God himself will be with them. 4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”
I can’t wait to see the day when Jehovah restores the earth, and when there is peace, and when Isaiah’s words hold true….”And [Jehovah] will certainly render judgment among the nations and set matters straight respecting many peoples. And they will have to beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning shears. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, neither will they learn war anymore.”
Provided I can be as patient as God is patient with mankind, I think this dream encompasses everything I could want, and want for my children.
I’m saddened that you are going through tribulation, but confident that you will come out of it in a great way. Whatever it is that has become an obstacle in your life, remember that James said to “let endurance have its work complete, that YOU may be complete and sound in all respects, not lacking in anything.”
*love to your family*
Sunday, July 5, 2009 at 8:09 am
I dream of a time when i am truly content. i dream of a time i don’t compare myself to others, when I AM enough. i dream of a time that I keep this on the forefront of my mind… I just have an audience of ONE!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Heather- I sympathize with your comment. But can’t you also say that you’re not finding the time to pursue (or think on) future dreams because you are currently living and fulfilling a lifelong dream (just one that requires your full attention)?
Tiffany- you are right on for rejecting that apocalyptic poison. We’ve talked about that stuff a bit as I think we both had similar encounters growing up. For me I simply can’t entertain it anymore, and not because I’m afraid of the kook but because there’s no talking those folks out of their theories, and because their theories are just theories and speculation, and especially because there is just no good fruit that comes out of all of that. Do what you said- live in hope and try some things new. Totally encouraging to read your reaction to that.
The Bijou- for your encouragement: many thanks, that is truly appreciated and helpful today to read. You have a knack for finding those verses that are worth meditating on. I have to agree with you that such an outcome is worth leaning our hope on.
Jamie- I totally share your feelings. For me, aging has been harder than I expected, and I find myself at times fixating on the things I’m not satisfied with, either about myself (appearance) or about my life. I pray for a renewed mindset so that, while I might work to improve my body or my talents or whatever, that I’ll also be able to pause, and be thankful for what I have today, and the way I am. Such a difficult thing to achieve, right? Imagine how life would be if we could include those affirming thoughts more often. Thanks for offering that.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 6:28 pm
There are times when I despair that I actually think ‘I have no dreams.’ Thank the fates that those times never last too long and that I almost immediately kick myself into laughing at such a silly idea. Humans have dreams, its part of being human.
One of mine is to travel to EVERY continent on this planet. There will be times where I don’t know the language (other than learning some simple words) or the intricacies of the culture (although I always try to read up on what some may be before I go) but I will always learn something. As of the past three years, this dream has been on hold due to finances, but its only grown during this time. I won’t let it die.
Sunday, July 12, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Bri- how many continents have you been to already? I am dying to see Antarctica- maybe we find a way to get rich and then we can go together. I heard cruises to down there are about $15K a person. Yeouch!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 8:18 am
I want to dream again….where is that awe in my eyes that suddenly has been grayed out by circumstances….hmmm.
Thanks Ian. I’m lifting you and family up today. One day at a time…
~Jael
Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Jael- “where is that awe in my eyes that suddenly has been grayed out by circumstances” I can really relate to that lately. thank you for your friendship and support. i can safely say that the encouragements and comments from friends during this time has made a huge difference to me and Lauren.