[TELEGRAM] Remembering Jesus of Nazareth Despite One’s Self

“I’ll learn, to sing: Evermore, rejoice.” -Third Eye Blind

“So here we go again,” he thinks to himself as he stands along with the rest of the congregation. ”Another Sunday morning in a large auditorium filled with people I don’t know. That’s a big stage. Do they really need four guitarists up there at once?”

She’s holding his hand again. His inner monologue continues. ”I hate it when she does this. We fight on the way to church and this is her attempt to erase that. I don’t need to see our differences swept under the rug, and I don’t want to fake nice just to bolster the wattage on the glowing smiles around here. They seem disingenuous anyway, why would I want to help that?”

He drops her hand. She notices, but tries not to show it. He’s stuck in thought as the music continues.

“Am I blocking the people behind me? I feel like a giant with a busted vulture’s neck.” A voice in his head interrupts his thoughts. “Worship is celebration, friend. For you, it is not about restraint, and it’s not about being tied up in your own mind. Try letting go.”

He prays silently with eyes open. “I don’t know how. I struggle to find you, even in this place. My mind is noisy and my heart is frustrated. I believe, but is my belief sufficient for you? When I do manage to slow things down in my head, I see the vigorous God that you are, pouring yourself into the mess of this world. On this Christmas, Lord, I’m asking for another favor. Help me to remember you, and teach me the rhythms of praise.”

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